Brian's Poems

The Charge of the Traffic Brigade

We have a friend who was a senior police officer in Dorset.  We visited him in the MGF during his major campaign against speeding, with the slogan 'Five hundred a week'.  Our following effort made Blueprint, the newspaper of the Dorset police.

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
Into the valleys of Dorset
Raced the five hundred.
Onward they blithley sped,
'Dash to the lights' they said;
Heedless of pending red
Raced the five hundred.

Cameras to the right of them,
Cameras to the left of them,
Cameras in front of them
Flashed and thundered.
Fired at by radar beams
Photographing speeding scenes,
Shattering each driver's dreams,
Foolhardy five hundred.

When will the memory fade
Of the wild charge they made?
Long wait 'til points expire,
Grim punishment the courts require.
Theirs not to whinge and whine,
Theirs just to pay the fine.
Crossing the county line
The chastened five hundred.

(With apologies to Alfred, Lord Tennyson)

Rupert's Christmas Greeting

We have some good friends in Melbourne.  Eddie has a nostalgic fondness for Rupert books, so we sent him an annual for Christmas together with this greeting.

Christmas would not be complete
without an annual for a treat.
And so this Rupert library comes
with greetings from your Pommie chums.

It may not be the normal size,
especially seen through ageing eyes.
But size, they say's not everything,
and postage can the wallet sting.

Now Edward Trunk and Tiger Lily
to grown-ups may seem rather silly.
But memories are made of this;
we hope they bring back childhood bliss.

Just one small thing we feel is lacking,
hard to put in such a packing.
That is, instructions how you may
construct a paper toy for play.

So here's a Christmas task for you:
to make an origami 'roo.
Just be a brick, and cut and fold
to do the job as you've been told.

And while you're sitting in the sun
enjoying all the festive fun,
please raise a glass of Chardonnay
to absent friends so far away.